" I was devasted by the untimely death
of my brother, and the Grief Support Group really helped me
to work my way through my distress and find peace."
~ K. Rodgers
Funeral
Arrangements
Someone you care for has died. You may be
feeling numb, confused, distraught and exhausted. Making
funeral arrangements and taking care of business may seem
insurmountable.
Consider contacting a close friend or relative,
so they may give their support and practical assistance. Hospice
volunteers are also available for emotional support and to help
you attend to practical matters. You may also wish to contact your spiritual
or religious advisor.
If the deceased had a lawyer or an executor, contact this person
to see if they have been given instructions for planning the funeral
and/or if the deceased was a member of a Memorial Society. If no
wishes have been left, and there is no executor, the closest relative
has the responsibility of making funeral arrangements.
Contacting
a Funeral Provider The most common arrangement is to contact a funeral provider
of your choice. In B.C., families can make the
arrangements themselves if they wish (see end of this section).
The following funeral providers serve the Nelson area:
Personal Alternative Funeral Services
1-800-780-3322
Thompson Funeral Service Ltd 352-3613
Castlegar Funeral Chapel 352-3220
or look under Funeral in the yellow pages of
your telephone directory.
When you meet
with the Funeral Director discuss fully and frankly all options
and details of the funeral arrangements, including cost. You
may find it helpful to have someone with you to assist with the details. You will be asked to make decisions regarding:
burial or cremation
place and site of burial, grave marker
type of casket or urn
selection of clergy or facilitator for the
service
time, place and type of service. This may
range from a formal traditional funeral, a memorial service or
a simple gathering at someone's home. If the deceased did not
leave instructions, you will be deciding how to mark this
event. You may need a few days to decide
and to await the arrival of family/friends.
embalming (this is seldom legally required)
viewing of the body (this can be important
for many people, in particular if the death was sudden)
clothing for the deceased
pall bearers (avoid designating people with
heart or back difficulties, instead make them honorary pall bearers)
music
flowers or donations (if you prefer to have
memorial donations sent to an organization, include this request
in the obituary). You may wish for the flowers to be distributed
after the service
obituary notice. This may be written by a
family member or friend, or as a service of the Funeral Provider
In order to register the death the funeral provider will require
the following information concerning the deceased:
full name, occupation and address
citizenship
place of birth
date of birth
full name and birth place of father
maiden name (and all given names) and birth
place of mother
You will also need the deceased's Social Insurance Number
and War Veterans Serial Number, if applicable.
When completing the Registration of Death, the Funeral Director
will also arrange for the Burial Permit and the application for
Death Certificates (needed in order to settle an estate).
Using A Funeral Celebrant
A Funeral Celebrant officiates at funeral services for families who are not attached to a church or who do not wish to have a traditional religious service. The Celebrant will hold a meeting for the immediate family to share special memories from the life of the deceased. Out of that gathering, the Funeral Celebrant will design a service--in consulation with the family--that best reflects and memoralizies the life of the loved one. That service may include a eulogy, readings, music, a video tribute, and ceremonies such as candle lighting, or placing flowers at the graveside. The job of a Funeral Celebrant is to help create a ceremony that is a personalized reflection of the life of the deceased.
Details to Consider
Coordinate date of funeral with travel plans
of relatives and friends who are coming for the service
Notify relatives, friends, employer
and colleagues of the death and the date and time
of the funeral
Make arrangements to have someone answer
the door and telephone and keep a record of calls, cards and
flowers. Prepare a list of persons to receive acknowledgments
Have someone coordinate the supply of
food for the days ahead
Arrange child care if needed and hospitality for visitors.
Consider special needs of pets
Ensure your home is
looked after on the day of the funeral. Some burglars use obituary
notices to learn when a home is unattended
Arrange for a reception
after the service, if desired
Sources
of Assistance The expense of a funeral should never be a burden on those left
to grieve. The B.C. Government and some other agencies have programs
to ensure people are provided with reasonable and dignified funeral/memorial
services. Each organization has its own policies, procedures, and
maximums. Contact them in advance of the funeral and be aware that
if you arrange the funeral yourself and sign the contract with
a funeral provider, you may be responsible for all costs.
Assistance may be available from:
Canada
Pension Plan has a death benefit available
to any person who has been covered by the plan for three or
more years since 1966. The amount varies per individual and on
receiving the application takes about 8 weeks to process. You
will need the deceased's Social Insurance Number. Phone 1-800-277-9914.
The Public Trustee will arrange the funeral
services if no family or friends are willing and able to accept
responsibility. Contact this office through Enquiry B.C. at
1-800-663-7867.
Veterans' Affairs Canada & the Last Post
Fund ensure that those who have served in the Canadian Armed
Forces during times of war are provided with a dignified funeral.
For information phone 1-800-663-1931.
The Ministry
of Human Resources provides those
on income assistance and those without financial resources
with funeral costs, including a casket and either burial or cremation.
A grave marker is not provided. For information call 354-6488.
Check all life and casualty insurance
and death benefits including Old Age Pensions or Social Security,
insurance policies including car insurance and home owners
mortgage insurance, extended care plans, Trade or Credit Union
Plans and Income Protection.
Autopsy
Information In most cases of sudden death or unexpected death the Coroner's
Office will require an autopsy. If this is the case, it may
mean a delay between the time of death and the release of the body. Also, the family or the physician may request an autopsy even if one is not required.
In these cases, the next-of-kin will be asked to give written permission. The
deceased can still be viewed prior to or at a funeral service following an autopsy.
In the case of sudden death, you may be questioned by the police as part of
their investigation. If crime is involved, you may be asked to appear in court
as a witness. You may feel frightened and confused. Help is available through
police-based Victims Services by calling 354-3919 (Nelson City Police)
250-354-5196 (in office only Wednesday and Thursday - other days call Nelson
Victim Assistance 250-354-3919)
Private Funeral Arrangements
If the family wishes to arrange the funeral, including the transportation
of the body for burial or cremation, independently of a commercial
Funeral Provider you must arrange for the Registration of Death
and the Burial Permit before transporting the body. Nelson Hospice
has printed information on how to make these arrangements which
is available on request.
